New Series: Ideas for bumper stickers

1. Jesus was Canadian

I need a new look

I am bored of the 'scary dude waiting for the Muni outside SF general' look. It was quite trendy a few months ago but times change. I need a new look. Have a look at a few mockups below and let me know what you think.

Ape-Man




Chick



Even more drunk than usual.

Mini-Haddock sighting

Saw this Haddock cruising around Glen Park last night. Very suspicious.

An Open Letter to Cousin Sasquatch

Dear Cousin Sasquatch:

When we were growing up, everyone thought it was funny when you'd occasionally bite off a hobo's foot. We laughed with you, and, let's be honest, it was one of the few times you truly got to feel included in part of the family. Deep down, we all knew it wasn't healthy, but we all thought it was just a phase. I guess we just didn't want to face the truth. Maybe it was a cry for help that we were all too selfish to hear.

Now those crazy childhood antics have gone horribly out of control. Sasq, we're begging you, find help. Flounder's friend Rubio knows El Chupacabra's therapist, who helped him a lot with the whole goat-sucking problem. And know that we're all here for you. Tillie has even promised to let that whole incident last Canadian Christmas go.

Sincerely,

Gary, Uncle Moose, Uncle Goose, Flounder, Bruce, and Gordie Howe.

Ripped off

I've been cranking away on my Peaton, working on my perforce checkins visualization screen
saver, and then this dude comes and steals my thunder. I bet he stole it out of my perforce-as-a-service cloud-based depot.

You know what the worst part is? Instead of crediting me, he gives a shout out to BFry. Bah.

Life doesn't get any better than this

1. Beat the shit out of a Yank in hockey last night
2. Ham + Swiss
   
3. Tried out my new Harmonic Saturator
4. Drove the entire map of Grand Theft Auto in reverse gear
   

Maybe the Yank healthcare system isn't so bad after all

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80609

I started the think maybe you Americans were starting to become modern and enter the 21st century. Then I did a search of that site for sandwich news and I am keeping my opinion you are a fucked up country with major issues.

http://www.theonion.com/content/search/onion/advanced?search=sandwich&restrict=

Shitstorm

Running Windows on vmware isn't running it in the cloud, it's like running it in a shitstorm.

Dude, they stole my fucking idea

These fuckers stole my idea. I've had a puppet in the cloud for years now. A cloud of sandwiches, if you know what I mean.

Whenever

Whenever someone asks me to say something funny, I just say "you're a douche." It always kills.

Hockey isn't basketball

Last night at our hockey game, I was arguing a call with the ref. He was trying to explain the call with some comparison something like, "it's like in basketball when you double-dribble..." I was so pissed off I actually tried to teach how even though Canadians invented basketball we've disowned it since like the early sixties.

Would you believe this traitor still gave me a minor penalty?

I am starting a second blog

Someone at work just told me 'redundancy is the standard of choice'.

Three Times A Lady

And I will always love yooouuu.

Lionel Richie should have been Canadian.

Twice

I played a trumpet when taking a crap and I did such a good job the guy in the next stall applauded.

Once

I took a crap once and I did such a good job the guy in the next stall applauded.

Fucking goats

I'm sure they ruined some animals' days by fucking eating their nests.

Price Sheet

Dude, I decided to start billing my company by the job instead of by the hour. I think it's a more fair system for everyone. Here's my price sheet.

• Dood: $2.50
• Dood!: $3.50
• Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck: $18.50
• Belch: $8 ($12 after a burrito)
• Blank Stare: $19.50
• Rant about QA: $4.95 + $3/min
• Install Linux distro: $2000
• Talk about installing Linux distro: $50
• Write Code: Sold Out
  

All prices are in Canadian dollars. If you want me to take those bullshit yank dollars, it'll cost at least double. I heard that tij isn't even worth the paper it's printed on.

Free as in A Bunch of Bullshitij

Dude, Flounder just told me there's this all this software that isn't free and you can pay money for. Who knew? I tried paying money for Intell-ij, and it's the fucking tij. It even supports XML (who'd a thunk it?) That free software stuff is a bunch of bullshitij. I blame Ben Fry for suckering me into it.