That's good

It's kinda boozy.

Why do you hate the monkey?

Why is this chair always here?

It wants to be under my ass.

Fake Charlie

Where Bruce?

Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

Fuck you, Grandma

When I was a kid my Grandma would say "it's five and twenty past five." Fuckin Grandma, why can't you just say "5:25"?

Fuck you, Grandma.

But that was just when I was a kid.

Another Open Letter to Ben Fry

http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=JAVA#chart1:symbol=java;range=1d;compare=vg;indicator=volume;charttype=line;crosshair=on;ohlcvalues=0;logscale=on;source=undefined

Relax

Go back to your desk, relax, have a cookie, lalalalala. It's not like the fucking building is burning to the floor.

Our Meeting

I thought our meeting was...

Oh, fuck. It was at 9:30.

I wasn't going to make it anyway.

IntelliJ is the new SkyNet

Dude. I'm posting from my blackberry so IntelliJ can't see me do it. Yesterday, I put a comment that said

-- todo: move to the migration project

And then I moved the file to the migration project and it fucking removed the todo because it knew it was done. Dude. It's fucking self-aware. Then I added

-- todo: get me a sandwich

And pushed Alt-Enter. 20 minutes later, Flounder showed up with a fat Humboldt with extra cheese.

Fuuuuuck.

Fake Charlie

Anyone want to buy an RSA key, cheap?

Fake Charlie

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Fake Charlie: Train

Train

New guest blogger: Fake Charlie

DUDE. I have been so busy at work. Rather than implement agile they implemented some new methodology called douchebag or something. I have been thinking of hiring a new guest blogger because I am so busy. Also, Flounder pointed out that we skew to a more mature demographic and it is all about the disposable income of toddlers and tweens these days.

So let me introduce to you our new guest blogger: Fake Charlie. Over to you Fake Charlie.

Sometimes being Canadian is hard

One of my old friends is competing in Beijing. He also took part in Athens. My only issue is that he is playing a douchebag American sport rather than Hockey or one of the variants (grass hockey, water hockey, boat hockey, foot hockey, tonsil hockey etc).

Poor Richard never did live down that sad episode with the town bike and his name in the Olympics still reflects that infamous incident.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Clapp

Norway's a bunch of chuckleheads

They totally got the wrong penguin. If Canada ever had knights, we'd've gotten the right one.

An Open Letter to Ben Fry

When you're gone, I'm going to turn off your computer, open the case, and take a shit inside of it.

This is total tij

We should own this sport. I just don't get it.

Does anybody know when the muskox hunting triathlon starts?

2008 Summer Olympics

Even though Canada doesn't have any medals yet, our best sport isn't until next week. I'm certain the 'nucks are gonna sweep the gold, silver and bronze.

Year of the MSFT

Know how they say all press is good press?

Microsoft totally nailed it on this one.

Installing Gibbon Heron Edition on a MacBook Pro Liveblog

Wow!

Sweeeeet!

Why do I like this?

Installing Gibbon Heron Edition on a MacBook Pro Liveblog

I told Seabass I'd done it and he asked me if it was an accident.

Installing Gibbon Heron Edition on a MacBook Pro Liveblog

Done. It's either a Linux machine or a brick now.

Installing Gibbon Heron Edition on a MacBook Pro Liveblog

I'm almost sorta doing it just because it's such a douche-y thing to do.

I'm a Stock-Picking Lion

An update and a big I-Told-You-So on one of my original stock picks, VG: You remember I bought back in October for 97 US cents (that's $1.04 Canadian). The next day it spiked to $2.57 US ($2.75 Canadian). All the guys at work who think they're so smart said "oh, you should sell" and I was like "dude, I'm an investor, not a trader." If I'd sold then, I would have paid 64 US cents per share (68 cents Canadian) of tax. Now that I've sat pretty and enjoyed the ride, it's down to $1.35 US ($1.44 Canadian) and I only owe 15 US cents of tax (16 cents Canadian). And if I hold another 2 months, it could be long term capital gains and the feds could owe me money. Fuck yeah!

Scarlett is really gonna like this

They've done the impossible. The E70 has been upgraded to the E71. If the old E70 could bust a cap on the iPhone, imagine what the new one can do. I'm moist with anticipation.

Fucking Waste of Fucking Money

Dude, I'm fucking as steamed as flounder en papillote. They did this fucking tij at work and it worked fine for everyone who's using a real IDE (Intell-ij), but everyone who uses that fucking freetard bullshitij Eclipse was whining how they couldn't get it to work and how they lost 2 hours of productivity. Fuck. If you calculated how much that cost the company, we could have bought everyone Intell-ij licenses 5 times over.

Fake Moho: Ibex Blows

Everyone knows the Ibex blows. It's way worse than Cloverhamptonville and doesn't even use the 32 nm process that Saskatoon has been using for years. I would explain more, but the Comcast guy just got here to

Impostoring Ibex

So as all readers of my blog know, the Ibex is due for release in just about 2 months.

I was just alerted by Baz that Intel is putting out its own Ibex processor next year.

At first I was upset. It should be illegal to reuse open source code names. But, then I thought about the possibilities. Think about the recursiveness of running the Ibex on the Ibex. Oh man. I think I need an afternoon sandwich.

Hot Investment Tip

Dude, if they roll out my national sales tax scheme here, there'd be a fucking boom in calculator watch sales. Just in case, you all should go long on calculator watch futures.

Sea Bass still wears the calculator watch he had as a kid. I'm gonna get together with him and open a hedge fund with it.

This Dude Crossed A Line

I was with this dude all the way on the bus killing. Who hasn't wanted to murder the guy next to him on the bus who's playing his damn headphones loud? But then when he beheaded the dude after killing him, that crossed a line. You don't need to behead someone after you've killed them. That's just rude.

Fucking Anti-Canadian Propaganda

Dude, Flounder's Japanese friend Tako is claiming Subaru is Japanese, not Canadian. Don't listen to his lies. It's also the only open-source car, which he'd probably say isn't true either. I recompiled mine to run on American gas and it only took two weeks.

Civic Holiday

Dude, this Monday is Civic Holiday in Canada. It's hogwash. It's fucking discrimination, is what it is. Why do we have a day off to celebrate the Honda Civic and no day off for the WRX, which is not only a superior car but also a fucking Canadian car. It gets me steamed. At least they could have Impreza Holiday, if they didn't want to just celebrate the WRX. Bah.