Intellectual Property Theft

Dude! These pigfuckers stole my idea. I'm gonna sue their asses in Canadian patent court. I've been doing wakin' bakin' for years now.

Flounder's latest hot tub idea becomes reality

The other night, me and Flounder were sitting in the hot tub throwing out some crazy big peperoncini rings, when he tells me that he had a dream about whales blowing smoke rings.

Well what do you know, the Japanese have done it.

I bet the sandwiches in Japan are crazy good.

Dude, I wish I'd thought of this

Pizza bears, dude. That's some serious genetic engineering. I bet it's fucking delicious till it rips your head off.

I'm off to the hot tub to work on a sandwich moose.

The fifth dimension

It's totally over simplifying things to just use two dimensions.

I don't need no stinking badgers

They have badger phones in the UK. I called someone in grand theft
auto and it said their badger phone was disconnected.

In case you forgot, it's still the year of the MSFT

Check out their mobile advertising strategy:

a throwback to "Space Invaders," in which Microsoft's "clippy" character (from MSFT's Office apps) danced around the cellphone screen as Microsoft's Sean Alexander shot at Dorito chips.

Why Linux is great

Whenever something goes wrong I just take out my laptop and start fucking going crazy with google. That's what's good about Linux, man. They have it on the internet. Not like that Windows tij.

Fuck the iPhone

This dude is so right.

The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.

All you need to do is replace E70 with BlackBerry Pearl and -- "Now what, motherfucker?"

Girl of the day + apology

Hey everyone. Haddock is back. Sorry for going AWOL the last couple of days. I hope Grandpa did a good job. The reason I was away was because of this:



You are thinking: But Haddock she isn't your type. She is wearing a bright top to warn motorists. She has a nice sensible helmet. Her bike is 100% straight from the factory. Well you would be wrong. That basket is loaded with fresh sandwiches and hempuccinos.

This post is brought to you by Hemp nuts whipped cream.

Grandpa Haddock's girl of the day

Hello everyone. Grandpa Haddock here. I got a call from my Grandson Haddock this morning. He said he overindulged at a Quiznos last night so he asked me to post something on his good friend Turtle's "blog". Young people of today eat too much. In my day we had rationing. It seems these blogs are what all the youngsters are using these days. In my day we used two empty cans of Molson and some string. Haddock told me about this girl of the day thing. In my day we would never do such things. You youngsters are too free and easy for my tastes.

I thought I would share a picture of Grandma Haddock. Back in those days you didn't just build your own bikes you had to knit your own helmets too. In this pic poor Grandma Haddock smoked way too much pot and drank far too much beer and was way too fucking hammered to get on a bike.

H@DDOXX GRRL of the day

The hair doubled as a helmet.

The dude I sit next to had a bike accident

Jalapenos

I don't understand why everyone is so up in arms about a little salmonella on jalapenos. If you eat jalapenos, you want to get the runs anyway.

H@Ddoxx GRRRL ov teh day

She rode her bikes like she lived her life. Fast, out of control, no brakes. An organ donor to be. She thought she was soooo cool but that look on her face betrayed the lack of fixed wheel skillz.

Holy fuckballs, I wish this had been me

If only this had been me.

I'd never sue them for it. I just love the recursiveness of it. Think about it. You could use a sandwich to cut another sandwich.

Far out.

Hockey Magic Quadrant

I've been working on this. Let me know what you think.

uıɐƃɐ pǝuʍ0d

ǝɹǝɥ sɐʍ ʞɔoppɐɥ ɹoxɐɥ ɹǝdns

My new favorite joke

New feature: Haddock's girl of the day

Hey everyone! Haddock here. It has been a while but Gary still hasn't learned how to lock down access to his blog. From now until he closes the security holes I will be posting "Haddock's girl of the day".

Which brings me to this little beauty spotted in SOMA last Saturday night:




She was in my life just for an instant (you can tell by the blur) but I was in love. Even today my heart aches longing for her return. You can see the look of amazement on her face when I correctly identified the 5 mods she made to her frame. I was also in awe of how she handled that heavily modded frame considering her non bike-safe shoes.

What plants crave

No wonder only hippies are using Gentoo. They just released their latest version, Gentoo Linux 2008.0. It was code-named "It's got what plants crave".

Really?

Why would anybody run IGWPC when you could be running the Heron?

Oversensitive douches at work

Just because I sent an email with RTFE to all of R+D people are crying like Maple Leafs fans after another joke season.

btw.  RTFE stands for "Reinforced Tetrafluoroethylene"

Douche stands for douchebag.

Douches.

Acronyms

Sometimes my Canadian upbringing gets in the way of getting my message across. So if you ever see me mention RTFE, it just means I'm talking about Reinforced Tetrafluoroethylene. That stuff has a huge following in Canada, and I guess here in the states, they're a bit behind the times.

I'm switching to Gimpy Ganymede

As this dude says, "Coding in IntelliJ is like being working with my keyboard covered in hot tar."

I love Alberta Beef

And I have the bumper sticker to prove it.

Sometimes you just have to bribe the government

$204K well spent by Vonage. I told Charlie about this and he shouted "Train!" in approval. Already the little dude is understanding the markets and how sometimes you just have to bribe the man to move ahead.

Good luck and Happy Canada Day Vonage.